Parenting is hard because we make it hard, Life is hard because we were taught it is hard.
Recently I had a situation with putting my daughter to sleep.
It all started to happen in the last two weeks.
There was a battle. Inside of me. I knew that she needed to have enough hours of sleep during the night, but I saw that she wasn’t tired at all at times she usually was sleeping already.
Tuesday came with a very bad mood. For both of us. She fell asleep, but woke up minutes later and started calling me, she didn’t have her cocoa milk and that she wants to drink it.
She basically demanded it.
Before we went to the bathroom, getting ready for bed that day I asked her if she wanted to have her cocoa, the answer was no. She ate earlier and wasn’t hungry. She usually eats and has a cup of milk, usually hazelnut milk, before our bathroom night time routine.
That Tuesday was a day to remember.
At first, she wanted her drink. I told her that I asked her and she said she doesn’t want it and that it is time to sleep now. I was thinking she just wants to push my barriers and “buy” wake up time. We talked about it and she lay down to sleep. Minutes later She came out of bed walking into the living room. Not once. Every five minutes.
And it was that Tuesday I needed an extra hour for me. I needed her in bed sleeping. I needed to finish a project for work. I was at the end of my powers and knew I needed to finish it. I was tired.
I managed to stay calm and put her to bed every time she came out with a different excuse.
She went to pee. She wanted a stuffed animal in her bed. She was hot. Then she wanted me to tuck her in. A bedtime story. A cry she doesn’t want to sleep. A scream she needs me.
I was at the end of my nerves. When I asked why she couldn’t sleep. As calm as I possibly could.
She said I can’t sleep if I don’t drink my cocoa.
But I offered it to you, hunny, I said. You said no. You can’t go changing your mind all the time, I continued.
Then she goes, yes, but it was too soon then. I like it right before bed, after the bathroom. To know, now it is time for bed.
At that moment I realised again how important night routine was. But also got confirmation how important it is that we step out of our story and STOP assuming.
OUR ASSUMPTIONS are killing our relationships.
We change our habits. Our children do too. want whatever works best for us. Our children too.
They can do a tweak in their day, to feel better. Why not.
We need to follow their lead and allow them to do so.
COMMUNICATE.
ASK THEM.
COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY TO CONNECTION.
She is sleeping with no problems since then.
Much love,
Tina B, MD
P.S. What is your takeaway from that? Leave a comment and let me know!
